Showing posts with label Cupping the jewels. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cupping the jewels. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.

...It's coooooold out there everyday.

Would it help if I played Sonny and Cher in the background?

Well, I'm sure you're all wondering what we've been up to over the last few weeks.  Hmmmmm....Let's see, we went to the Dental School's picnic at Squire Valleevue and Valley Ridge Farms.  It was a lot like... Picnics and Mommunists (8/16/11).  Actually it was pretty much exactly like that.  Except there was a new crop of infants and instead of being mediocre at football, all of the men were mediocre at volleyball.  Oh, and instead of going out for custard afterwards, we went out for ice cream.

I went to go observe Nicholas working in the lab.

September 2011
September 2012













...and Nicholas continues to make fake teeth.
September 2011







September 2012
















Okay, I will grant you that his technique has gotten a wee bit more sophisticated over the last year. 



I got a bad cold, and Nicholas made me matzoh ball soup.

Jew-y picture I used in 2011
Jew-y picture I'm using in 2012















All in all, I have to say that the start of this school year has felt a little...familiar.

Just in case we lost you on this one...

Of course, some things do change.  For instance, this time last year we were feeding a small stray tabby cat on the porch and talking about how, under no circumstances, were we going to take her in and end up with a fourth cat (Ha!)  Not only did we let Pog in, but we let Jon Fielding in as well.  Have we told you about Jon Fielding and his dirty dangler yet?

Not these.  We had these removed
Fielding's dangler is the one leg that he leaves dangling under him from wherever he has perched.





















I guess it would have been too much to ask to get a "fixed one"...well, I guess if he'd been normal, someone wouldn't have just let him out to roam the streets of the Cleve.

Anyway, I'd better go, because if I don't do my reading...well, pretty much nobody notices.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

I could shove an icepick in my eye. I could eat some fish from last July; but it wouldn't be as awful as a summer in Ohio

It's been quite a while since we've blogged and that's because I have been suffering from what a shrewd clinical mind would be able to identify as a dual-diagnosis of writer's block and laziness.  But since I know how desperate you are to be let in on the picayune details of our lives, I'll write even in the absence of something clever to say (for examples of this format, see all previous blog entries).

Let's start at the very beginning, since my childhood governess always drilled into me that that's a very good place to start.

Smolen children with their governess circa 1990.  I am small Aryan boy in lederhosen at far left.
At the end of June, Nicholas and I ventured out west to New Mexico and then San Francisco.  In New Mexico we attended Sarah and Joe's wedding.  Sarah made a beautiful bride and Joe stood up well to my intermittent threats of grievous bodily harm.
Newlyweds
The party was a blast and, as always, the Smolen girls kept it classy.
Molly and I kept our Daisy Duck undies hidden until later in the evening
After the wedding we hit up the city by the bay.  Because Nicholas had never been to San Francisco before, we took in all of the beautiful sights that the city has to offer:



Viansa Winery

Muir Woods

And we had the wonderful opportunity to see one of San Francisco's true natural wonders...THE BUSHMAN!
 For those of you not in the know, the Bushman is a homeless man who hangs out by the wharf and hides behind two large pieces of shrubbery only to jump out at unsuspecting passersby.  Obviously, this man is totally insane (Read: I'm totally jealous that I didn't come up with it first).

We got back to Cleveland in time to celebrate our first Clevelanniversary.  Clearly this is something that we'd like to commemorate because Cleveland is a beautiful city and not--I repeat, not--a swirling vortex of despair.
Not sure if this supports or negates the idea of Cleveland as a hell dimension...

The only other thing that merits mentioning is the story of the cat that we rescued from our neighbor's garage in June.  One day as we driving home from running errands, we got a call from our neighbors, who explained that there was a cat stuck in their garage and they figured that since we were cat owners, we might be able to help them get the poor animal out.  So, like any true animal lovers and humanitarians

















we went and helped to remove the cat from the Curtis' garage.  But we couldn't just leave this sweet little tabby on the streets without helping him to find his original owner.  In truth, we were taken in by his Jamie Hyneman whiskers...

...and his huge cat balls

Yes, we have a picture...and judge not lest ye be judged (I'm judging you anyway)
So we called him "Jon Fielding" and kept him in the garage and backyard while we tried to find him a family.  And, just like their namesakes, Tolliver was quickly enamored of Jon Fielding.
If we ever re-home them, it will have to be to the Cats-tro
We figured it would be easier to find Fielding a home if we had his massive pouch potatoes harvested.  So, Fielding now sings soprano and we're no closer to finding him a forever home.

For those of you who say we now have 5 cats, I want you to know that I reject your reality and substitute my own.

Besides, remember how we always had 5 cats?

Summer has sped by and now we're really starting to put our noses to the grindstone.  Nicholas has started studying for his boards.
...It's going well (?)
I'm still selling underwear at the mall, which has been a learning experience...what I've learned is that poor people really like to steal moderately priced undergarments and lounge wear.  To prep for the school year, I've started reviewing a ton of psychiatric theory.

Editor's Note:  If watching 8 and half seasons worth of Frasier can count as reviewing psychiatric theory.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr's Anatomy

We join you now for this post-op addition of--you guessed it--our blog! Yesterday we took Pog to the vet to be spayed.  For those of you not in the know, the spay operation is the process through which the female cat's reproductive organs are surgically removed.  It's a long operation because, unlike the human female, female cats actually have multiple uterine horns.
Uterine horns

The more elusive Unihorn
As you can imagine, Pog was pretty nervous about going under the knife.  She used all of the normal coping mechanisms to deal with her heightened state of anxiety: cat nip, diaphragmatic breathing, and some other old-school  tricks she had up her sleeve.
At any rate we crated Pog and took her to the vet early yesterday morning and some point thereafter, Tolliver finally came out of hiding.
Huge pussy...cat
In case you're biting your nails about how the surgery went, Pog is fine and home with us again (SPOILER ALERT).  And you know, for as much as Pog bothers Tolliver, I really think he was worried about her while she was gone.

Anyway, not much more to say here.  Her recovery process has been pretty standard so far.  She's had no appetite,

pronounced lethargy,

and a really unflattering new haircut.

The only problem is that she cloistered up in the second bedroom again and she and the other cats are having a hard time with the separation.
I'd like to believe that Pog is not behind that door trying to dig her way out to her new friends; but the pieces of wall-to-wall that I keep finding stuck between her toes is pretty damning evidence...
People's exhibit A

That's about all I have to say for now.  Everyone's home together and recovering nicely from own little surgical drama...

...Actually come to think of it, all of this talk of neutering has got Nicholas acting a little strange...

Guarding the Gonads