Joe Biden is Better Than That

I repeat, Joe Biden is better than that --->

I know we haven't blogged in a while, but we were busy voting in Cuyahoga County, which I'm pretty sure makes us the most important people in the country.  Sadly, that also makes us residents of Cuyahoga County.

Since last we blogged, we've been busy with all kinds of autumn activities.  We went apple picking with our neighbors, carved pumpkins, and got dressed up for Halloween.  This year we went as Effie Trinket and Seneca Crane from the Hunger Games.

Seneca

Effie

Local Weirdos

The costumes were pretty well-received, though they did make us the silliest looking people to have passed through Ohio this Autumn.

...well, almost

I know, I know, that's probably enough cheap shots about this year's, shall we say, losers.  It's just that in our house we feel very strongly about certain rights.  For instance, how could we support an administration that wouldn't support this precious and super gay union:

Pretty sure Tolliver is the wife

And of course we had to protect Pig, Pog, and Pi's right to female reproductive surgeries.

Because who wants another one of these around?!?!

Let's see other than that, we've been very busy with school and internships.  Nicholas is flying through his second year of dental school and has progressed way past the stage when he is only allowed to create wax casts of teeth.  In October, for instance, Nicholas performed my annual prophy cleaning.  

The doctor at work

The "compliant" patient before she fell asleep in the chair

Wendy's eye view

And he only had slightly less facial hair than the last person to clean my teeth--I wonder how Mrs. Weston is these days--He was so kind, so gentle, so reminiscent of someone that I just can't seem to put my finger on it...

Oh, yeah

Meanwhile, I've been spending a lot of this semester working with adolescents who have diagnoses of substance dependence.  It's just the way they show it in the movies.

Of course, I'm practicing in Lake County, Ohio, so instead of Sandra Bullock, Angelina Jolie, and Leonardo DiCaprio it's much more like this

Well, that's it.  We hope that you're enjoying the splendor of autumn because I know we are.  We have loved taking in the beautiful scenery around Cleveland: the crisp air, the changing leaves, the local wildlife preparing for the cold winter months.  

Check out this wintering squirrel with his nuts

Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.

...It's coooooold out there everyday.

Would it help if I played Sonny and Cher in the background?

Well, I'm sure you're all wondering what we've been up to over the last few weeks.  Hmmmmm....Let's see, we went to the Dental School's picnic at Squire Valleevue and Valley Ridge Farms.  It was a lot like... Picnics and Mommunists (8/16/11).  Actually it was pretty much exactly like that.  Except there was a new crop of infants and instead of being mediocre at football, all of the men were mediocre at volleyball.  Oh, and instead of going out for custard afterwards, we went out for ice cream.

I went to go observe Nicholas working in the lab.

September 2011

September 2012

...and Nicholas continues to make fake teeth.

September 2011

September 2012

Okay, I will grant you that his technique has gotten a wee bit more sophisticated over the last year. 



I got a bad cold, and Nicholas made me matzoh ball soup.

Jew-y picture I used in 2011

Jew-y picture I'm using in 2012

All in all, I have to say that the start of this school year has felt a little...familiar.

Just in case we lost you on this one...

Of course, some things do change.  For instance, this time last year we were feeding a small stray tabby cat on the porch and talking about how, under no circumstances, were we going to take her in and end up with a fourth cat (Ha!)  Not only did we let Pog in, but we let Jon Fielding in as well.  Have we told you about Jon Fielding and his dirty dangler yet?

Not these.  We had these removed

Fielding's dangler is the one leg that he leaves dangling under him from wherever he has perched.

I guess it would have been too much to ask to get a "fixed one"...well, I guess if he'd been normal, someone wouldn't have just let him out to roam the streets of the Cleve.

Anyway, I'd better go, because if I don't do my reading...well, pretty much nobody notices.

Happy Thursday to you! Happy Thursday to you! Happy Thursday, dear Alice! Happy Thursday to you!

What has two thumbs, speaks limited French and didn't cry this year on her birthday?

This moi!

Indeed, it was a very happy Smithday for me.  And if you don't know what that means, I'm certainly not going to explain it to you (See, my youth may be fleeting; but my immaturity is holding strong). And as someone, whose name I won't mention, kept reminding me, this was the 20th anniversary of my 7th birthday.

Molly...it was Molly

For those of you who don't remember, that was a very good birthday...a day about which I cherish countless wonderful memories.

Footage not found

 A day that nobody could have ruined...

Molly...it was Molly

 Besides, who can remember what happened in 1992 anyway?! The spunky little genius who kept this journal for Mrs. Miller's bet kakhol, that's who:

As you might suspect, the journal reflects sweet, sensitive nature of my angelic childhood self.

Perfect child

Adult with extremely selective memory

In going back and re-reading my 20 year old journal, I realized how completely I failed to live up to my own expectations for myself.  As a 7 year old I prognosticated that in 10 years I would have completed some revolutionary scientific work.  To be more precise, I wrote:  "10 years from now I will make a animle that is hafe dinosr hafe monkey.  My mom is going to go crazy because I can't find a home for it."

If I had to take a guess, I would say that 7 year old me was envisioning something like this:

But with one of these:

And definitely one of these:

Alas, as I'm sure you can imagine, 17 was a busy year for me with college applications and all...thus, I never did get around to making that Monkeysaur.  I'm sorry, 7 year old me, for not having created that abomination that you so whimsically concocted in your crazy little head.  If it makes you feel any better, 17 wasn't a complete bust.  It's the year that I had this very useful photo taken:

Uniquely good photo with not one but TWO open eyes

And if that doesn't do it for you, 7 year old me, remember that your prediction had two parts:

1. That you would violate the laws of nature by creating the world's first Monkeysaur
2. That your mother would go crazy.

So rejoice, the intervening 20 years definitely made good on part 2.

...and it didn't even take a Monkeysaur

And now, I will echo what I've decided are your sentiments, and wish me a happy birthday. 

...Also, 7 and 17 year old me, I just want to let you know that we landed a hottie.

Proof

I could shove an icepick in my eye. I could eat some fish from last July; but it wouldn't be as awful as a summer in Ohio

It's been quite a while since we've blogged and that's because I have been suffering from what a shrewd clinical mind would be able to identify as a dual-diagnosis of writer's block and laziness.  But since I know how desperate you are to be let in on the picayune details of our lives, I'll write even in the absence of something clever to say (for examples of this format, see all previous blog entries).

Let's start at the very beginning, since my childhood governess always drilled into me that that's a very good place to start.

Smolen children with their governess circa 1990.  I am small Aryan boy in lederhosen at far left.

At the end of June, Nicholas and I ventured out west to New Mexico and then San Francisco.  In New Mexico we attended Sarah and Joe's wedding.  Sarah made a beautiful bride and Joe stood up well to my intermittent threats of grievous bodily harm.

Newlyweds

The party was a blast and, as always, the Smolen girls kept it classy.

Molly and I kept our Daisy Duck undies hidden until later in the evening

After the wedding we hit up the city by the bay.  Because Nicholas had never been to San Francisco before, we took in all of the beautiful sights that the city has to offer:

Viansa Winery

Muir Woods

And we had the wonderful opportunity to see one of San Francisco's true natural wonders...THE BUSHMAN!

 For those of you not in the know, the Bushman is a homeless man who hangs out by the wharf and hides behind two large pieces of shrubbery only to jump out at unsuspecting passersby.  Obviously, this man is totally insane (Read: I'm totally jealous that I didn't come up with it first).

We got back to Cleveland in time to celebrate our first Clevelanniversary.  Clearly this is something that we'd like to commemorate because Cleveland is a beautiful city and not--I repeat, not--a swirling vortex of despair.

Not sure if this supports or negates the idea of Cleveland as a hell dimension...

The only other thing that merits mentioning is the story of the cat that we rescued from our neighbor's garage in June.  One day as we driving home from running errands, we got a call from our neighbors, who explained that there was a cat stuck in their garage and they figured that since we were cat owners, we might be able to help them get the poor animal out.  So, like any true animal lovers and humanitarians

we went and helped to remove the cat from the Curtis' garage.  But we couldn't just leave this sweet little tabby on the streets without helping him to find his original owner.  In truth, we were taken in by his Jamie Hyneman whiskers...

...and his huge cat balls

Yes, we have a picture...and judge not lest ye be judged

 (I'm judging you anyway)

So we called him "Jon Fielding" and kept him in the garage and backyard while we tried to find him a family.  And, just like their namesakes, Tolliver was quickly enamored of Jon Fielding.

If we ever re-home them, it will have to be to the Cats-tro

We figured it would be easier to find Fielding a home if we had his massive pouch potatoes harvested.  So, Fielding now sings soprano and we're no closer to finding him a forever home.

For those of you who say we now have 5 cats, I want you to know that I reject your reality and substitute my own.

Besides, remember how we always had 5 cats?

Summer has sped by and now we're really starting to put our noses to the grindstone.  Nicholas has started studying for his boards.

...It's going well (?)

I'm still selling underwear at the mall, which has been a learning experience...what I've learned is that poor people really like to steal moderately priced undergarments and lounge wear.  To prep for the school year, I've started reviewing a ton of psychiatric theory.

Editor's Note:  If watching 8 and half seasons worth of Frasier can count as reviewing psychiatric theory.